“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”

I’ve been so unmotivated to update my adventures in China, but a few people have asked for a new blog post, so I have mustered the energy to provide :)

A few weeks ago I had a nice relaxing weekend. I interviewed for a second job which would entail working at a language training center about 6 hours a week, and I got it! I will be starting it in the next couple of weeks. Then I ventured into the city to find some English books and left with two Paulo Coelho (my favorite!) works, and a Lonely Planet Mandarin phrasebook so I can work on learning this insanely difficult language! The following day I ventured into a really cool area near my house where I found a cozy, peaceful coffee shop with a gorgeous view and studied Mandarin while sipping on a Cappuccino. The owner of the shop is a young Chinese girl with excellent English. She told me she wanted to promote her coffee shop as a place for foreigners and expats and asked if she could take a few photos of me with the staff in exchange for a few free coffees…well, of course! I went back today and the young girl invited me to join a “conversation corner” every couple of weeks with free coffee and cake; a time when native English-speakers and Chinese come together for an hour or so of discussion. The first one will be in a couple of weeks, and I’m already looking forward to it.

The weekend before last, my friend and I set out for Huangshan (Yellow Mountain) in Anhui, a neighboring province. It’s about a 4 hour bus ride. We went there with the intention of hiking the mountain. Well, who knew, hiking in China means climbing up and down stairs, thousands of stairs. I thought I might die up there. I can hike for hours on end, but stairs are another story. If you’ve been on a strenuous hike with me before, you know that climbing up rocks or stairs trigger ridiculous amounts of pain for me due to an irregular heartbeat…not to mention I’ve just come off a year of a back injury, and the pressure of climbing up and down stairs is incredibly dangerous for my particular problem. So yes, stairs; we went up and down almost 20 kilometers of stairs (about 12 miles). I was in unbelievable pain for the next week; I don’t think I have been so sore in all of my life. Thankfully there is a medical student interning here at our school (providing the teachers with free services), so I went to her for a leg and back massage. It hurt so good! ;) And all my pain is now gone! Whew! I was waddling like a penguin for about 4 days after the hike; my students were loving that!

This past weekend began a 7 day holiday that the Chinese have for their national day, celebrating the country’s founding in 1949. It’s a time when the whole country travels, and there are masses of people everywhere. I tried to arrange a trip to Beijing with an old high school friend who lives in Hong Kong, but we tried far too late. Everything was completely booked up, which from the looks of everything here, it’s probably best that I’ve stayed put because I can only imagine how awful it would be to try and travel at this time, not to mention the hiked up prices. So I’ve stayed here at my apartment on the school campus. Aside from a few staff members and the security guards, I seem to be the only one who stayed around. Meal times with the few people here have proven to be a great time. None of them speak English, but they are desperate to communicate with me. Very few people at the school (including those who could speak to me if they wanted to) have been so eager to spend time with me and TRY to speak with me. This group of people is so funny. We share our meals together in the canteen, and the men offer me beer or liquor every single day…at 11:30 a.m. I usually decline, but yesterday I accepted. They poured me a tiny bit of some awful smelling, unbelievably strong liquor and insisted that I share a cigarette with them afterward. I left lunch half drunk and ready to crawl into bed.

Sunday I took the public buses for the first time by myself. Aside from one tiny incident of getting lost for about 20 minutes, I made it to my destination successfully. I have just been using taxis, but this city is huuuge. Buses save a lot of money and I’ve been wanting to become more independent in that regard, so it felt really great to get to where I wanted to be on my own using the bus! I went to this American-owned bar, which is popular with expats, for free gumbo night. I went with the intention of meeting some more foreigners who are living and working in the city, but I ended up spending the entire time talking with a young Chinese woman whom I left with for a walk along the lake. I didn’t talk to a single Westerner! But it was great, because this girl and I had such a wonderful conversation. I honestly haven’t felt like I’ve connected with anyone like that since I’ve been here. We exchanged email addresses and phone numbers and vowed to get together soon.

While I’m slowly starting to make more friends and establish a more settled life here, my time so far has been what most people would consider terribly lonely. But to be honest, I haven’t really felt that lonely. I’ve been surprisingly content. I am certainly excited to be meeting new people and adding friends to my life here, but the times of solitude I’ve had have been very good for me. The last three years of grad school have kept me unbelievably occupied. For the first time, I have had time to read, to reflect, to journal, just to be alone and at peace with no worries and do things I love that I never really had time for before. And it has felt great. And I feel really good being here in China, too. I am already thinking about staying for another year when this one is over. Of course I don’t know what will happen in the next year, but right now I really know I’m supposed to be here. It’s strange. Every time I walk outside I am filled with a sense of belonging, purpose, contentment, and half a dozen other emotions I’m not sure how to name. I can clearly remember the last time I felt this way; it has been 7 years since then. 7 years!!

I know I’m supposed to be here. I don’t know why or for how long or what it means, but I can honestly say that I feel this is ‘right.’ …“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”