One Man Defies the Odds, While Another Succumbs to Them

Yesterday we celebrated babu's 75th birthday. that's a pretty big deal considering the fact that the life expectancy for men in this country is 35. he has lived a LONG, full life in which he has experienced the greatest of joys and also the most difficult of sufferings. Regardless, he walks around with a smile on his face, and his generosity is undeniable. So we had a big party at the school and the children performed dances, plays, and songs for him. We ate a ridiculous amount of food. basically, we had a great time celebrating babu's life.

One dictionary defines hope as this: "to wish or look forward to what one anticipates or expects, a reason for confidence or expectation." we had hope that benny would make a full recovery. he was improving daily. the last several times i saw him at the hospital, benny was getting better and better. we had hope. we looked forward to, anticipated, EXPECTED his recovery. benny began to speak again. he laughed at our jokes, and made jokes of his own. he recognized everyone around him, and he claimed he must have a lot of friends because he always had so many visitors. he began to eat again, requesting foods that he had missed. the last day benny was in the hospital, he even began to feed himself. we continued to have hope. friday, benny was allowed to leave the hospital. he went to his sister's house where he would be taken care of. on saturday and sunday we received news that benny continued to improve. our hope was solid. today, one of the new teachers came to talk with iwe and i as we sat on a bench at school. (iwe has replaced benny as the patron during his sickness) "you both share in the sufferings of your sick friend," he said. "yes," i replied, "but the good news is that benny is much, much better and we should see him here soon." my hope had become certainty. two hours later, albert(our driver) had come to the school to bring babu for some "business." i went to sit in the car with albert as i always do when he's at the school and i dont have a class to teach. benny used to always sit with us, and i thought that normally benny would be there with us, sitting in the car, laughing about something stupid. i looked at albert, intending to share a reminiscence of benny. albert looked sad. "nini albert?" i said. ("what albert?"--albert doesnt speak english) he shook his head. "nini," i repeated. "benny," he replied. "mbaya or nzuri?" i asked ("good or bad"?) "benny...kapoot," he said. "benny died?" i asked. Unnecessary as it may be to define such a word, "dead" is defined as: " without life or no longer living." benny will no longer eat, he will no longer laugh, he will never again see his students, and they will never again see him. benny is without life. i began to cray. albert and i looked at each other, sharing our grief. "pole sana," we both said. ("I'm so sorry for the situation") i was meant to teach my class in 20 minutes. how could i? i realized that a couple of my students had somehow heard the news, and their sobs were creating many questions among the others. i gathered my class together, and between sobs i managed to say that uncle benny had died. some of the girls cried out, the boys laid their heads on their desks and covered their faces. several more students began to cry. i spent the next hour outside, sitting on a fallen tree, crying with a group of my students. today i had to think of that book called "the audacity of hope." this means that having hope is recklessly bold action on our part. it is to dare to have something which may possibly lead to disappointment, to devastation. we have hope so that we might not have despair, or fear. we hold on to this expectancy for what may come in the future, the expectancy that the BEST is to come, and we try to believe it with reckless abandon because the pain of the possible reality is far too great. sometimes, our hope proves to be fruitful. it proves to bring us joy, happiness, contentment, satisfaction. other times, our hope is crushed, leaving us in a wake of destruction, pain, suffering, loss.

In a country, in africa, tanzania, where the life expectancy of men is 35, babuhas managed to live until 75. benny has died at 35. one man defied the odds, while another succumbed to them.